Coeur traveled to Thomas Lane knowing nothing less than a win would be good enough against the basement side from division 2. Bankfield had won last week in the cup so would have been feeling slightly more confident than in previous weeks. What followed was 90 minutes of sheer torture and dross that had to be endured by Coeur's watching faithful, The Cat, Ray Bowen and Chris Blackburn. Coeur shuffled the pack a little this week with Chris Speed and Mike Smith starting on the bench, they were meant to have been joined by Rob Philiskirk but he was delayed, due to moving into a new flat in a Nursing Home by St Helens church and didn't manage to make the match. Mally Harper was also missing choosing to spend a weekend in Cumbria with his Welsh lady friend. Andy Blackburn, Rob Hatton and Mick Kennedy all returned to the starting line up this week to fill voids left by others.

So Coeur lined up on a pitch where the grass was very long and the ground very soft, however despite that both sides turned in a performance of an even poorer standard. Bankfield made the first impression on the match when their Eastern European collapsed in the box like he had ingested a large dose of polonium-210. The whistle blew and Coeur stood in horror, thankfully the referee was more than wise to his moves and awarded Coeur a free kick. Mick Kennedy took particular exception to the acting that wouldn't have been out of place on Prisoner Cell Block H, telling the Bankfield side that " There is no way you can call yourself a supporter of football when you are happy for sh*t like that to take place from a member of your own side " and whilst being a little vocal in his opinions I don't think there could be anyone who could refute the statement. Anyway back to the 'football' and I use it in the loosest sense of the word. Coeur had several chances, hitting the post and forcing their keeper into a few good saves before Mick Kennedy broke clear of the defence and buried the ball in the net from 18 yards giving the keeper no chance. Bankfield too had chances to score, not through any decent moves, but down to the lackse attitude of Coeur. Coeur doubled their lead, and again it was the predatory Michael Carr slamming the ball home at the back post for his third in two games. It appears safe to say Mick's goalscoring form should put Rannard's forays forward into retirement once and for all. The rest of the half was too poor to mention.

Half Time 2 - 0

Second half saw an encore of atrocious football from both sides and Coeur struggled to put the match away despite having numerous chances. It was Gav Scott opening his account for the season that put the game beyond doubt when he slammed the ball home from 10 yards. Gav was withdrawn a little later along with Alan Hulthen to give Mike Smith and Chris Speed a run out. The fourth Coeur goal was Coeur's best of the game and it was two simple passes that created the chance. Andy Blackburn delivered an excellent ball down the left wing for Degsy to scamper onto, he looked up and laid the ball on a plate for Chris Speed who slid it home as if it was a 5 a side match on a Tuesday night. So here we are 20 minutes to go 4 - 0 up against a side who have offered almost nothing in either encounter this season. What do Coeur decide to do, push on and try and get another few goals, or take their minds of the game even more and gift Bankfield 2 goals?? Yes you got it, here you go Bankfield, Happy Christmas. The first for Bankfield was actually a great finish, but the lad was left in so much time and space, he could have enjoyed a three course Turkey dinner to go with his gift from Coeur. The second was from a free kick three yards from the dead ball line. The ball was fired in hard and low and it bounced round before dropping to another Bankfield player, who had time to get of the couch halfway through the Bond Movie, have a stretch and then toe poke the ball home.
Coeur wrapped up the points when Mick Kennedy again broke the offside trap and slotted home to make it 5 - 2.
In a match that was as entertaining as the Hallmark channel, one moment of comedy genius stood out, and it very nearly earned Shelley the Man of the Match award. Shelley was in the left back slot when he skipped past one Bankfield player only to be caught by Bankfield's little fat sub. Shelley did well to ride the tackle which left the fat lad in pain on the deck (of his own doing), Shelley promptly stopped, put a foot on the ball and wagged his finger at the fat lad calling him a ' Little fat C*nt ' before taking off up the line and skinning another player.

In Summary, Coeur were atrocious but ran out 5 - 2 winners due to the fact that Bankfield, somehow, were even worse. A much better performance required next week as Coeur entertain Cardinal Newman.

Full Time 5 - 2